Let Your Gentleness Be Evident

Dear Sister,

How many of us have been hurt by a woman either at church, a workplace, or in some other social setting? If we are being honest, we would all raise our hands. I suppose that if we have all been hurt by someone, we may have hurt others, intentionally or unintentionally, ourselves. The bible has an example of two women who were quarreling in the church. This is found in Philippians 4: 2-7 as Paul was writing a letter to the people in the Philippian church.

I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord. Indeed, true companion, I ask you also, help these women who have shared my struggle in the cause of the gospel, together with Clement as well as the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life. Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all people. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (NSAB)

In setting the stage, Paul mentions that two women were disagreeing with the church. Their names were Euodia and Syntyche. These two women were described as “women who have shared my struggle in the cause of the gospel…whose names are in the book of life.” So we can safely assume these are dedicated women of the church who follow Jesus and are Christians. These are not women of different faiths; they share the unity of the forgiving message of Jesus, who died and forgave them for their sins.

What Euodia and Syntche were arguing about, we will not know, but we can draw on our own instances of disagreements or hurts with other women. Paul gives instructions to three parties: Euodia, Synthche, and the companion. The instruction to the companion was to help these women. The plan for reconciliation, forgiveness, and wisdom on how to deal with this situation for all three individuals can be found in verses 4-7.

First, was to rejoice in the Lord. Rejoice comes from the Greek word chairo. This means rejoice, be glad, have joy in the Lord. Your overall demeanor significantly influences how your interactions with others will unfold. Of course, this does not warrant insincerity or a facade of happiness. This is genuine joy that comes from fellowship with the Lord when we are one with him. Pursue joy in Christ, and he will give you this fruit of the Spirit.

The second instruction was to let your gentle spirit, or gentleness, be known. My mother-in-law has this saying, "You might be right, but you might be wrong in the way you defend your rightness." My poor family deals with me very graciously, especially when it comes to the way I confront them on an issue. Many times, I come with a mallet instead of a flower. Direct bluntness- which, believe me, has a place- can sometimes cause more pain in the end, which was not the intention of the one sharing the truth in the first place. Crushing a person’s soul does not always leave the impression that you want to make. Tread gently, like our Savior does, when pointing out our faults. Jesus is gracious to us in our failings, as we should be gracious to others.

The third instruction was not to be anxious about anything, but to pray about everything, paired with thanksgiving. When we are lost in despair, thankfulness for what the Lord has given us is the saving lifeline from discouragement. Thankfulness leads us to joy and freedom. God knows the situation that you are going through. He feels the hurt you feel. He sees the pain that you hold in your heart. He has died for you and the person from whom the pain is coming. Talk to him about it; he wants to hear your heart and guide you through your fears.

Once we follow the instructions of having joy in the Lord, being gentle with others, and not being anxious about situations. Prayer paired with thanksgiving comes with a promise, and God always keeps his promises. The peace of God will come and guard your heart and mind.

Are you in a situation where you are one of the two women fighting, or are you the companion who works with them? How can you rejoice in the Lord, have gentleness for others, not be anxious, and bring your situation in prayer before the Lord? God always desires reconciliation and unity. He lovingly waits for us to come to him, and he will forgive us every time. In kind, we are called to forgive others. We all have our unique gifts, and we are all given a specific task to accomplish. May we think of other people above ourselves. May we seek unity instead of a desire for vindication- being right. My prayer is for unity in your life with the women around you and that the Lord would give you peace that will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Your worth is immeasurable. You have been bought at a price. You are loved.

Love,

Kayleen Moore