Part 4- Identity Theft

The Fourth Key to Building Home – Reclaim your Identity

Have you ever had your identity stolen? It is violating. The headache of reclaiming our identity is frustrating and has lasting consequences on our daily lives.

This happened to me when I tried to set up a business page on Facebook. I received an email from Facebook suggesting I should check out “Brittany’s” page. I looked at the link and realized it was my business page's profile picture with no other details.  I freaked out! “Brittany” was nefariously using my name and picture. How infuriating! This harmed my progress in forming cohesive connections across social media platforms.

To date, we have discussed three keys to building a home: evaluating brokenness and practicing lament, accurately knowing God, and knowing we are loved. These three keys form the foundation of building our relationship with God. The conundrum of identity theft leads us to our fourth key to building home - reclaiming our identity. Identity is an abstract concept that can be challenging to grasp. Our identity is related to who we are. It can be associated with our name, a set of qualities, beliefs, personality traits, or physical characteristics. As we examine our spiritual identity, the analogy of our identity being hijacked takes on more sinister implications.

In my own life, I experienced identity theft when I had a miscarriage. I am a Physician Assistant and need to complete continuing medical education to maintain my license. I read an article about the symptoms people have from traumatic experiences. These symptoms include prolonged stress with various psychosomatic symptoms that did not have a medical origin, like headaches, stomach issues, chronic pain, fatigue, restlessness, insomnia, loss of appetite, and many others. (Treatment (US))

I experienced many symptoms listed above during a three to six-month period after my miscarriage. It led me to ask, Why? Why do I have all the symptoms listed above? I had not recognized the trauma that was associated with having a miscarriage. In my research, I found that about 1 in 3 women have signs of post-traumatic stress one month after miscarriage. Even after nine months, 1 in 5 women continued to have symptoms of PTSD. (Understanding the Psychological Impact of Miscarriage | Tommy’s) This traumatic experience hijacked my identity as a child of God, leaving me with the identity of a victim.

A victim is an individual who has been harmed or injured as a result of a crime, accident, or event. Not only does being a victim inflict pain in the present, but it also reminds us of past pain. (Yoo et al.) Our brains intuitively trace back and replay the other times in our lives when we have felt physical or spiritual pain. In my situation, I started revisiting pain from the past, and was also held captive by the current emotional and physical pain I was in.

I translated this bad situation into a lie that I had not met God's approval. Somehow, I had done something that caused him to become angry with me or led him to reject me, allowing this pain in my life.  I emotionally collapsed when I felt that I was the victim of the worst kind of neglect, the abandonment by God. I felt like David crying out in Psalm 28, “Do not be silent to me, lest, if you be silent to me, I become like those who go down to the pit.” I felt like I was in a pit of despair.

Overcoming traumatic experiences in our lives cannot be done on our own. It is essential to seek community and counseling tailored to your specific situation. This takes time, money, and complex emotional work, but the benefits of healing outweigh the alternative. For myself, I sought out a Christian counselor. In counseling, I prayed to the Lord. I said, “Lord, I feel abandoned by you. I feel like you have hurt me so deeply for allowing this to happen to me. God, can you show me how you see me?” He heard me and answered.

In the next instant, I had this image in my mind of Jesus holding a baby girl, lovingly looking down into her eyes. Next, I saw Jesus twirling a little girl; Jesus cherished her as she laughed and twirled. Lastly, I saw a woman holding Jesus’ hand as they walked along the path together. The baby, the little girl, and the woman were me. My heavenly Father accepted me. I was loved, cherished, and upheld by the Master Builder, the King of the Universe - my Father.

This moment had a profound impact on my healing journey. No longer did I need to be a slave to fear and anxiety. Galatians 5:1 became my anthem, “For freedom, Christ has set me free.”

Because of my faith in Jesus, I could begin my journey in replacing my identity as an abandoned victim with that of a loved and cherished daughter of the Most High God. I felt empowered. I still had a long way to go in building wholeness in my life. Yet, I knew I could walk through the healing process because I was not alone.

Do you suffer from any symptoms of frequent headaches, heart or stomach issues, chronic pain, fatigue, restlessness, insomnia, binging, or loss of appetite with no specific medical cause? Though there might be an alternative medical reason for symptoms that the doctors have not yet been able to pinpoint, an important step is to evaluate your mental health. Click here for a list of communities that can help with various traumatic experiences. The Bible frequently emphasizes the impact of our mental state on our physical well-being. “A glad heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22 NLV).

What areas in the past have you had a traumatic experience that left you feeling abandoned, rejected, or dismissed? My dear sister, God desires to hear our cry. He wishes to reveal our true identity in Him. Letting go of our victimhood identity does not happen overnight, and it does not minimize or erase what has happened to us. Nor does it promise that we will never again be sad, anxious, or downhearted. However, when we are given the identity as daughter, our anthem can be “I count it all joy… when I face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2-4 NIV), because I can trust my Father is working all things out for my good. (Romans 8:28).

When we are in Christ, we are no longer salves to sin or orphans. Our identity no longer needs to be hijacked when God is our perfect Father and we are His cherished children. We cannot hold both the identity of an orphan and a daughter simultaneously. Let us lay down our identity as a victim before the cross and pick up our identity that God has given us.

The Bible study section will explore our identity in Christ and how we can put off our old identity and put on the new identity in Christ.

References:

Treatment (US), Center for Substance Abuse. “Understanding the Impact of Trauma.” Trauma-Informed Care in Behavioral Health Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US), 2014. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK207191/.

Understanding the Psychological Impact of Miscarriage | Tommy’s. https://www.tommys.org/research/research-topics/miscarriage-research/piepe-miscarriage-mental-health. Accessed 24 Oct. 2025.

Yoo, Hyunkyung, et al. “Does Past/Current Pain Change Pain Experience? Comparing Self-Reports and Pupillary Responses.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 14, Feb. 2023, p. 1094903. PubMed Central, https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1094903.