Finding My Way Home

My Testimony

By FaithArt Creation on Etsy, Purchased 9/11/25

Have you ever been lost -truly lost- and couldn’t find your way home? More than once, I have found myself barreling down an unfamiliar highway after my cell phone died. With no map or sense of direction, I was left with a sinking feeling of helplessness as I realized I had no idea where to go.

This same feeling of disorientation and anxiety happens to us emotionally. Sometimes we lose our way- not on a road, but in life. We feel disconnected and uncertain, with no clear path forward.

As we begin our journey through the blog series, "Keys to Building Home," I invite you to join me on a personal journey. I will be sharing the times in my life when I was lost, and how I found my way back home.  

Throughout generations, people have used stories to connect our hearts to earthly truths that transcend our own experience. In law, we use testimony to bear witness to the truth. In Christianity, a testimony is a story that bears witness to what God has done in one's life. My testimony is bound within the story found in Luke 15 of the Bible. Jesus spoke of two sons and a loving Father. In the story, one son’s life was defined by rebellion, while the other’s life was defined by discontent and entitlement. I have been both.

Life as The Prodigal Daughter

I grew up in a Christian home, but in high school and early college, I sought approval, love, and validation in ways that left me feeling empty, hating myself, and in darkness. In this season, I was the prodigal daughter, defined by rebellion. It was Jesus, the Father in the story, who waited for me to return home to him. Jesus pursued me and showed me the way to Himself through friends and family who spoke the truth to me and prayed for me.

On October 23, 2004, I attended an evening church service. Numb, I was plagued with shame, guilt, and condemnation. Brewing thoughts distracted me, “I became what I am to survive, but instead of thriving, I am dying on the inside.” I was disgusted with who I had become. The Pastor gave an invitation at the end of the service. “Does anyone need prayer?” It was like being slapped in the face. The emotional walls I had built came crumbling down. In tears, I covered my face with my hands. I felt like there was darkness all around me. I walked to the prayer room where the Pastor met me. I whispered, “I need prayer.” The pastor encouraged me to speak to God for myself.

I cried out to God. “God, I have run far away from you. Like a prodigal child, I want to come home. Father, I am in bondage to my sin and to the evil one. Please free me, Lord.  I cannot do this alone. I am so sorry for what I have done, and I want to follow you once more.” And in an instant, the darkness was gone. I opened my eyes. The oppression was gone. The pastor hugged me and said, “Go, my sister in Christ, be free, and walk in the light.”

Jesus’ love changed everything. On the outside, I lived with the mess that I created. However, spiritually, I was made clean by the blood of the Lamb. “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8 ESV) I needed and required a Savior. In His great love and sacrifice, He came and died for my brokenness so that I could live in community with Him.

God, as the Master Builder, came back into my life, washed me clean, cleared the rubble, and we started building together again. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” (Gal 5:1 ESV). Living life according to the Biblical principles created healthy boundaries that led to flourishing, rather than entrapment. For over fifteen years, I lived in that freedom. I got married, received my graduate degree, and had two children.

Life as the Older Son

Then, somewhere along the way, I got lost and became the older Son. Although I was building my life with God, there were still core lies about myself that I never fully worked through. I began building on a foundation of merit-based blessings, rather than one of forgiveness and grace. This left me feeling resentful of difficult experiences and entitled. In my pride, it was easier for me to feel like I could earn God’s favor than submit to his grace.

In 2018, my faulty foundation was exposed. We sold our home, but the apartment we had planned to stay in fell through, leaving us temporarily homeless with two little children. We found a new apartment and continued searching for a home. In November, I found out I was pregnant, but on December 8th, I had a miscarriage. This broke me physically and mentally. It left me questioning, “Where are you, God? I have chosen you and done all the right things for you, and my baby was taken away from me.” In my life, I had felt abandoned. I spiraled into depression, anxiety, insomnia, and deep grief.

I cried out to Him, God, 'Where are you?' For a time, I was met with silence. I thought the silence was one of abandonment. I sought out my doctor and a counselor for help. My doctor said something I will never forget: “Sometimes we all have to deal with the demons in our lives.” With help from a counselor, God revealed the truth: my faith had become about earning His love instead of receiving it. I realized His silence was meant to be a source of growth, not abandonment.

He looked at me as the older Son and said, “My daughter, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart. I will never leave you or forsake you. Suffering will happen to you; it is part of being in this broken world, but I will walk you through the ‘valley of the shadow of death.’ I will give you strength when you are weak and truth when you are feeling deceived. I will work all things out for your good, even when any explanation right now doesn’t make sense.” Healing came. Jesus met me and restored my heart and mind.

The Call to Testify

Why do I share this? Because Revelation 12 says we overcome the enemy “…by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.” Testimonies remind us of the truth that God redeems both prodigals and older sons. He shows the way and invites them all to come home.

If you don’t know Jesus as your Savior, He calls you to confess your sins and let Him rebuild your life with Him as the Master Builder. If you are a believer, but bound by shame or performance-based salvation, remember that the gospel is for you daily. 1 John 1:9 promises, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

My story is one of rebellion, pride, and brokenness- but even more, it is a story of God’s relentless love and restoration. When we are home with the Father, we are whole and at peace. Keys to Building Home is the way to build a relationship with God with the help of Jesus. This relationship is the path to healing, wholeness, and peace in your life, regardless of life's circumstances. Whether you relate to the prodigal or the older brother, know this: the Father is waiting with open arms.

Are you in a season of feeling lost? Do you resonate with the rebellious son or the older son? I would love to hear your story! Feel free to email me your story.