I started reading this book on how to have joy in the home. Reading the book left me encouraged, and I felt like, I can do this! I haven’t been very intentional about facilitating joy in my home recently. Reading this revitalized my desire to try. Fast forward to the older two kids coming home from school. Dinner is being prepared. I just had 10 minutes left before dinner was going to be ready. I thought to myself, This is the perfect time to facilitate joy in my home.
I decided to have each kid pick one song that they could dance to with mommy. So, I proposed the idea to my oldest, and we started dancing. My middle and youngest became very jealous about me dancing with the older child. The younger two started hanging on me and whining about how I wasn’t dancing with them. Not even halfway through the first song all three kids were crying. One child was in time out. Lastly, my bright idea ended up in a mess that would not even have been there if I hadn’t initiated it in the first place.
How many times as mamas do we plan special things, outings, vacations, dance parties, for our children because we want to see them happy and ultimately it will make us happy as well? Then, by a turn of very unfortunate events and attitudes everything goes spiraling into disaster. It leaves us asking, “Why do I even try?” In the situation above, what did my children really need? They needed FOOD. What was in their hearts that made what I was trying to give them fail? Jealousy and anger. Could I have cleared everything up if I filled their belly’s and set up expectations ahead of time so they could participate in the joy? Sure! Most Definitely! Could it still end up in disaster even if food was given and clear expectations were set? Most Definitely!
In our desire for happiness, we sacrifice and plan. Then, when it all falls apart there are times of sadness, anger and disappointment. The point of this exercise in the first place was to bring joy in my home. I needed to back up and figure out what joy really means anyway. In the book, In this House, We will Giggle, written by Courtney DeFeo, she had a quote from Kay Warren who defined joy as, “the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in all things.” (pg14) Joy had nothing to do with seeing my kids happy from an activity that I contrived for afterschool fun. Joy was something that needed to be fulfilled by my Heavenly Father first.
Psalm 63:7 says, “For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.” (NSAB) When I go first to my heavenly father, he will cover me under the shadow of His wings. That is where I will find joy and rest. Then when all of life circumstances occur, I can sing for joy despite what the outcome may be. Joy is the state of resting in my Heavenly Father, not an emotion that can be controlled by the whims and desires of unstable children who need to be fed.
We will have many times of happiness and laughter in our homes, but we will also have many failed attempts at happiness in our lives. But, when we are in the shadow of our heavenly father’s wings, we will be able to sing for joy in both times of laughter and sorrow.
DeFeo, Courtney. In This House, We Will Giggle, Waterbrook Press, a division of Penguin Random House LLC." 2014, pg 14.
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