Combat Negative Thoughts with CBT

Have you ever had spiraling negative thoughts after an interaction with a friend, family member, or co-worker? There are volumes written and whole courses devoted to CBT; this blog is designed to offer just a few basic tools to help you battle negative thoughts after a stressful experience.

The brain is like a telephone switchboard. Our outer self picks up the phone to talk to our inner self. The switchboard operator connects our outer self to the inner self by plugging the phone into the switchboard to direct the call. The telephone switchboard was used from the 1870s to the 1960s, a slow and cumbersome process, but in the brain, connections and communication happen at lightning speed.

What if the operator forgets to unplug the call or sends the caller in the wrong direction?  Our experiences can hardwire our brains to think negative or intrusive thoughts, whether intentionally or unintentionally. We are stuck talking to the parts of the brain that house Fearful Fanny, Negative Nancy, Gossipy Ginny, Covetous Cathy, or Lustful Lucy. The more we talk to one of these ladies in our minds, the more likely we are to get stuck that way.

In a stressful situation, our thoughts and feelings are directed to the amygdala, the emotional processing center, which overrides the prefrontal cortex, the executive control center, to trigger a fight-or-flight response. This inhibits the brain’s ability to think clearly and regulate emotions, but it helps with reaction time to run away.[1]  (Not very helpful for human interaction.)

We want our brains to direct our thoughts to the prefrontal cortex, not the amygdala, so we can think calmly and rationally about the situation and not overreact. When we get stuck in unhealthy thinking patterns, how do we rewire our brains to get unstuck?

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is the gold standard therapy for identifying and changing destructive thought patterns.[2] CBT may sound fancy or scary depending on your perspective. This therapy is simply a way to talk or journal to evaluate what you think, the cognitive aspect of CBT, and what you do, the behavioral aspect.[3] Essentially, enabling us to walk into the brain's control center, unplug unhealthy connections, and direct the call to healthier areas.

The way we think about a situation can affect how we feel and act. The goal is to replace negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that hinder them from achieving their goals.[4] CBT can be demonstrated through a triangle.

Each point represents an aspect to evaluate: your thoughts, feelings, and actions. For example, Susie saw her friend at church. Her friend seemed to brush her off and left without connecting. Susie thinks, “Man, what’s wrong with Sally. I must have done something wrong.”  Susie feels upset and insecure after her interaction. (Feeling) She mopes all day, ruminating on her friend. (Thoughts) She snaps at her husband and kids. Susie may even start avoiding Sally because she does not want to feel like she did again. (Actions)

Do you see the triangle of negative thinking, feeling, and actions?

Using the acronym STOP method of CBT helps unplug the brain from its usual thinking pathway in a situation.[5]

STOP stands for:

S: Stop- Pause and identify the situation that triggered the negative response.

T: Thoughts/Take a breath- Verbalize or write down the negative thoughts about yourself or others. Take deep breaths- this allows your body to get out of that fight or flight mode.

O: Observe- Use the triangle to evaluate what happened, and brainstorm other ways to think about the situation.

P: Pray and Perspective- Pray and ask God for a new perspective on the situation. Use these insights to replace negative thinking with positive thoughts, or recall a specific Bible verse related to the situation.

Application:

Think back on your last negative interaction with a family member or friend. Evaluate the situation through the STOP method. What triggered your thoughts and feelings to become negative? How have past experiences hardwired your brain to direct your thoughts? Use the Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions Triangle to evaluate the situation.

[1] David et al., “Why Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Is the Current Gold Standard of Psychotherapy.”

[2] David et al., “Why Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Is the Current Gold Standard of Psychotherapy.”

[3] Davidson, CBT Workbook for Kids.

[4] Jefferson, CBT +DBT +ACT Workbook.

[5] Davidson, CBT Workbook for Kids.